if confetti doesn’t shoot out of his penis when he cums… he’s just not that into you
*hears my name in a conversation*
technically if you don’t cut a cake and just eat the whole thing with a fork you still only had one piece
have no regrets
except all those facebook pages you liked back in 2009, regret those
- Mom: who are you texting?
- Me: nobody
- Mom: what are you doing then?
- Me: nothing
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i like to push my body to the limit but not in the healthy living way more like in the how much pasta can i eat before im unable to physically move way
do you ever watch a movie and realize you have to watch it again because you were on your phone the whole time